Monthly Archives: January 2013

The Earnestness of Your Creation

Well hello again bloggers and blog readers! Wow, it has certainly been a while hasn’t it? Happy late new year and all that jazz. I hope this message finds all of you well and still sticking to your resolutions (I definitely have NOT haha).

Something interesting happened to me while on the Metro yesterday and I wanted to share. It’s not a special event or anything, I am more than certain this happens to tons of people daily, but this was sheer insanity and it was very amusing. I got on the bus shortly after 4 when i got out of work. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for once I had forgotten my headphones at home, so I wasn’t listening to music. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or if that’s what helped me…but more on that later. Approximately 2 stops after I boarded, this guy gets on and sits next to me. I don’t even look up, because I was texting. A little way into the ride I hear him start to kind mumble under his breath like he’s very agitated. Saying he hates white people, and that how can a girl opt for a guy that won’t do shit for her just because he’s white and not wanna be with a “ghetto” guy that would do everything for her etc..etc. THEN, he continues to say that he’s gonna kill the formerly mentioned “whore” and her family and kids because she’s a racist bitch, all while making exaggerated grunts and sighs. Now, it is about this time when I finally look up from my phone and realize that this guy has actually been addressing ME this entire time. I was a little stunned when I realized this. All I said at first was, “what?!” . He said “you’re a fucking racist whore because you don’t like mexicans and only date white guys”. I admit I got a little offended and angry. I fired back with ” you don’t even know me. what’s wrong with you psycho, leave me alone”. He then says “oh what, you don’t think I know how to throw down? I just moved to south central from east LA and am the only mexican there (*personal side note, that’s a lie) and I have to fight of all the fucking *enter racial slur here* in order stay alive”. THEN he gets down on the floor of the bus to show me how he beats and stabs people. I’m admittedly a little freaked out by now because I am sitting in the in seat by the window, with nowhere to go…if he wants to stab me, he totally could. So I pull the cord so I can get off 2 stops ahead of where I usually do before he can sit back down. When I get off to look behind me, he is trying to get off too and is yelling after me! So I duck inside of Walgreens, walk down a few isles, and when I see he is out of sight, I dash out the door and down into the subway to catch my train. Whew. Seriously though guys, that was crazy. Good thing I didn’t have my headphones on or he might have followed me without me knowing! I for once actually felt threatened. I mean, come on, the guy was total lunatic! And besides, he was totally wrong, I’m not racist and I don’t only date white guys…I only date Asians 😉

Anyway, I have been trying really hard to stick to my resolutions, but am finding it quite difficult for a few of them Exercising and cutting back on junk food is the top of that list. I can’t do it! I feel like a junkie or something with the way I sneak snacks between my meals and lie to myself like it’s not that many calories or I’ll start again tomorrow, ha-ha! But really, I do need to figure out a way to stop overindulging. Advice from anyone out there will help 😉 Stupid diets. I have however, stuck to 2 very important resolutions. Seeking a healthier state of mind, and working toward the career I would like to have. I have also broken away from feeling like I NEED to be attached to someone, which is a very freeing feeling. I am setting up extension classes for the spring, and for my head, have starting seeing a doc. I am actually thrilled about that, as it is giving me new insight. So wish me luck on that everyone!! 🙂

Well, I know it’s late but, here is to 2013. I hope it brings you all everything you have hoped for and more! I end this with a quote from a musician I enjoy named William Control. This quote meant something totally different last year when I was in a dark place, but now seems a little more inspiring in its meaning to me and my new adventure (whether he intended it or not);

“I woke up in a city unfamiliar, I did so out of fear, on the ground lay my insides. I picked up the courage, determination and forgiveness from that pitiful bloody mess, to find myself and to discover the truth…..”




Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Life


Tags: , , , , , , ,

%d bloggers like this: