The Earnestness of Your Creation

15 Jan

Well hello again bloggers and blog readers! Wow, it has certainly been a while hasn’t it? Happy late new year and all that jazz. I hope this message finds all of you well and still sticking to your resolutions (I definitely have NOT haha).

Something interesting happened to me while on the Metro yesterday and I wanted to share. It’s not a special event or anything, I am more than certain this happens to tons of people daily, but this was sheer insanity and it was very amusing. I got on the bus shortly after 4 when i got out of work. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for once I had forgotten my headphones at home, so I wasn’t listening to music. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or if that’s what helped me…but more on that later. Approximately 2 stops after I boarded, this guy gets on and sits next to me. I don’t even look up, because I was texting. A little way into the ride I hear him start to kind mumble under his breath like he’s very agitated. Saying he hates white people, and that how can a girl opt for a guy that won’t do shit for her just because he’s white and not wanna be with a “ghetto” guy that would do everything for her etc..etc. THEN, he continues to say that he’s gonna kill the formerly mentioned “whore” and her family and kids because she’s a racist bitch, all while making exaggerated grunts and sighs. Now, it is about this time when I finally look up from my phone and realize that this guy has actually been addressing ME this entire time. I was a little stunned when I realized this. All I said at first was, “what?!” . He said “you’re a fucking racist whore because you don’t like mexicans and only date white guys”. I admit I got a little offended and angry. I fired back with ” you don’t even know me. what’s wrong with you psycho, leave me alone”. He then says “oh what, you don’t think I know how to throw down? I just moved to south central from east LA and am the only mexican there (*personal side note, that’s a lie) and I have to fight of all the fucking *enter racial slur here* in order stay alive”. THEN he gets down on the floor of the bus to show me how he beats and stabs people. I’m admittedly a little freaked out by now because I am sitting in the in seat by the window, with nowhere to go…if he wants to stab me, he totally could. So I pull the cord so I can get off 2 stops ahead of where I usually do before he can sit back down. When I get off to look behind me, he is trying to get off too and is yelling after me! So I duck inside of Walgreens, walk down a few isles, and when I see he is out of sight, I dash out the door and down into the subway to catch my train. Whew. Seriously though guys, that was crazy. Good thing I didn’t have my headphones on or he might have followed me without me knowing! I for once actually felt threatened. I mean, come on, the guy was total lunatic! And besides, he was totally wrong, I’m not racist and I don’t only date white guys…I only date Asians 😉

Anyway, I have been trying really hard to stick to my resolutions, but am finding it quite difficult for a few of them Exercising and cutting back on junk food is the top of that list. I can’t do it! I feel like a junkie or something with the way I sneak snacks between my meals and lie to myself like it’s not that many calories or I’ll start again tomorrow, ha-ha! But really, I do need to figure out a way to stop overindulging. Advice from anyone out there will help 😉 Stupid diets. I have however, stuck to 2 very important resolutions. Seeking a healthier state of mind, and working toward the career I would like to have. I have also broken away from feeling like I NEED to be attached to someone, which is a very freeing feeling. I am setting up extension classes for the spring, and for my head, have starting seeing a doc. I am actually thrilled about that, as it is giving me new insight. So wish me luck on that everyone!! 🙂

Well, I know it’s late but, here is to 2013. I hope it brings you all everything you have hoped for and more! I end this with a quote from a musician I enjoy named William Control. This quote meant something totally different last year when I was in a dark place, but now seems a little more inspiring in its meaning to me and my new adventure (whether he intended it or not);

“I woke up in a city unfamiliar, I did so out of fear, on the ground lay my insides. I picked up the courage, determination and forgiveness from that pitiful bloody mess, to find myself and to discover the truth…..”




Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Life


Tags: , , , , , , ,

4 responses to “The Earnestness of Your Creation

  1. leo brady

    January 15, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    Happy New Year

    • Gazzy

      January 17, 2013 at 12:08 pm

      Happy new year! 🙂

  2. hanakatana

    January 16, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Happy new year.

    Thanks for sharing the music of William Control. I checked him out and I think he has a very nice style to him.

    One time on a bus a guy stared at me and asked me why I was smiling. It took me a minute to figure out that he was actually talking to me and by that time he was getting noisy about me laughing at him or something! The bus driver shouted that he would throw us both off the bus, which calmed him down. I cannot imagine the craziness of being in your situation. People can be real jerks.

    • Gazzy

      January 17, 2013 at 12:08 pm

      Happy new year to you too. I am glad you enjoyed William Control. His music in this solo project is so much different than his band Aiden and I enjoy it.

      People on public transpo can be really weird. I have come to expect it. But that was the first time it ever seemed so threatening to myself in particular. I guess we all have our experiences haha!


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