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“I always dreamed about ruling the world, but now that I’m getting older I’ll settle for Hollywood.”

I know it has been a very long time since I last blogged, so I hope you are all fantastic! Either way, here is my a Tuesday morning rant to get me back into the swing of things.

Over the last few months or so, I have realized (and accepted), that there is no such thing as getting to where you need to be, with honest hard work alone. If there ever was such a concept, it is long dead. Showing up everyday, minding your own business, and getting your job done right is not what it takes to get ahead in a career. You need to be ready to manipulate, side step,  out smart, and out maneuver. You have to be ready to step on toes, climb over others, and leave people behind. Even in the smallest and lowest position, you have to be vicious, conspiring, cold and calculating; ready to turn on people,  or rip out a throat (figuratively of course) at a moments notice if you think for even a second that it can give you the ability to continue your climb to the top.

This part right here...

This part right here…


Those who thrive and are prosperous to the point of being considered top of their game, are there because they beat others out of the running so badly, that they were no longer even considered competition.If you believe otherwise, I commend your hope; but you have blinders on my friend.

I used to believe in honesty. In the ideal that trustworthy, hardworking people are the ones who get the pay off. That people who lie, cheat, and steal to become a leader, will be exposed and will eventually come crashing down. Well…sorry, but that’s not how the world really works…that’s just wishful thinking. My eyes were opened to that quickly. I wish I was taught that earlier on, I probably would have succeeded much sooner. Sadly, I was too worried about hurting someone’s feelings, or making someone look bad. I didn’t want to feel guilty for stealing the spotlight, taking credit where it wasn’t due, or plotting to discredit someone.

A friend told me, that life is like a game of chess. He is 100% right. Every decision should be regarded as
a tactic in order to overtake your opponent and earn your checkmate. That is how I view everything now.

I used to believe that if someone was willing to do all of those unsavory things in order to get what they want, then they can have it. I wasn’t going to fight them for it, and I wasn’t going to stoop to their level.
Know what? That’s ultimately why I struggled so long. Not anymore my dear friends. No, no, not anymore. I’ve learned this world of bait-and switch, and the rules of deceit to progress. I have learned them exceptionally well.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do NOT carry this new belief into my personal life. I won’t steal from or manipulate a friend, and I won’t cheat on a significant other. There is a separation there, and that’s a line I won’t cross because I am loyal, loving, and devoted in that way. But with that said, you all need to comprehend where I stand and how seriously I take my career. That way there is no confusion later. So, a few words of caution:

1. Don’t work against me. If you want to work WITH me or FOR me..awesome. If you want to help me, great! But if I see you as a threat, or see you trying to jockey for position, I will take you out. I promise. Then, we probably won’t be friends anymore.

2. This goes for the friends and acquaintances of people I know as well. You have someone you are friends with who is in direct opposition to my ultimate goal, or has something I want to attain in a business sense? Sorry…I don’t care who they are. I will find a weakness, and exploit it without remorse in order to get what I need. No questions asked. The sooner you understand this, the better. If not, the moment it happens you’ll be upset, then we probably won’t be friends anymore.

3. I will act with tact, respect and come off as coy if needed or if I feel it will serve me well later, especially if that is what gets a person to expose a way in. Otherwise, I will more often than not, be a bitch and “bare my teeth” by being curt, blunt, dismissive, and sometimes arrogant and aggressive. Why? Because that’s how things work. Plus, I don’t have time to pretend if it won’t get me anything in the end. So if it embarrasses you or you don’t like it, keep your distance if it seems like I’m “doing business”…or we probably won’t be friends anymore.

4. If I am hanging out with you or have plans to hang with you, and I suddenly get a call or email that forces me to cut things short, cancel plans, or reschedule; or if I don’t (or forget to) return a call or an email/text…tough shit. For what I am trying to accomplish, I need to act at a moments notice. If I don’t, someone else will, and I can’t have that. So try not to whine about it or take it personally. Otherwise…well, you get the idea.

I am not trying to sound like I don’t care. I really do, and my personal friendships/relationships are important. I just felt like you all needed to be aware of a few of those very important changes in my personality because I received a bullshit remark about it the other day. Yes, I am willingly a Hollywood agent and fucking proud of it. I chose this path. It is what I have always wanted to do. You can call us sharks, vultures, scumbags, scavengers, or glorified used car salesman…go right ahead. If you think that bothers anyone who works in this profession, you’re dead wrong. We’re just gonna laugh…all the way to the bank. And nope, those words will not make us feel bad about ourselves or make us lose sleep. In fact, most of the time, those terms mean we are doing our jobs right, so fire away.

In conclusion, I’m doing what I need to for ME and no one else. My dream is my own, I am not trying to impress anyone with it. If it seems ugly to you, then look away. No one is forcing you to be a spectator, and you sure as fuck aren’t welcome as a commentator. If it seems sleazy, phony, and grimy, I won’t apologize for it. It’s the nature of the beast, so deal with it.

Above all, if I am in your presence and I say or do something while working that seems offensive to you… don’t take it personally baby, it’s just business 😉

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Posted by on May 28, 2013 in career, Life, Uncategorized


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A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Hello again internet friends. It has been quite a while since my last post. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of crazy that had piled into my life over the last few weeks. Actually….I COULD, but then I’d just seem whiny and lets just not do that. I will say that these turn of events will definitely make it difficult to see the brighter side of things for a while. But anyway, moving on…

It’s October finally. The air will (hopefully) begin to cool down, Halloween is a few weeks away and, best of all, we’re one month away until elections end and I can finally go online without seeing some stupid comment or photo bashing one side of either political party. I absolutely HATE election year. No matter where you go you can’t escape the b.s. it seems. Even 7-11 has shit. While buying your cheap coffee, you can proudly pick the cup representing your candidate and act like you’re making a difference by doing so. Call me ignorant if you want, although I DO know the issues and who stands for what. I just hate that people treat this as a sporting event and act like trash talk is actually beneficial to the cause of either side. Especially this year. Everyone is so caught up on the hot gossip. “oh my gosh Romney said what?!”, “Obama forgot to address WHO in his speech?!”. Shut the fuck up. I Love you ‘Murica, but lately, you seem collectively stupid.


Speaking of Halloween, I went to a haunted house / maze thing this past Sunday. It is the first of many hopefully, so I want to review it for your convenience. A little back story first. The BFF and I wanted to get out of the house Sunday due to the fact that we usually just slum around and, since it has been a trying few weeks for us both, figured we could use some fun. We had very little money between us both but he found a deal on his phone for unlimited access to 3 mazes for $14 bucks a person. A steal right?!… I don’t know why we didn’t see this one coming. The attraction is called “Paranoia” and is located in the Santa Monica Place mall. I know that should have been a dead give away, but the video made it seem at least somewhat promising. Look!

Well, Let me just say, that I don’t know who set this up, but it looks like it was thrown together by some high school kids. The decorations in all of the mazes are sparse. And when there is something, it is very clearly foam and rubber. The scares come from a few kids dressed in somewhat themed attire according to which maze you’re in. In the “Infirmary” there are patients…kinda…until you somehow end up in a part of a maze that looks like a living room, where there is no one there at all. The “Insomniac Clown Playhouse”…haha, what a joke. I am usually terrified of clowns, but something about the clown at the entrance posing for photos and telling people to add him on Facebook really took the horror out of it. Once inside, there were a few creepy looking clown masks, but once again, the ambiance was ruined by rounding a corner to find the clowns dancing to hip hop. Nothing really scary about that to me for some reason.

NOT scary

I think the biggest scare I got was when we exited the first maze, and one of the security staff, a 60+ year old lady, screamed “boo” completely out of the blue.

Anyway, our next planned haunted attraction stop is Delusion and, if I can muster the courage, Blackout. Both seem terrifying and from the reviews I’ve read, extremely entertaining. We will probably throw a few odd ones in the mix too just to keep it interesting. We’ll see if we can afford it with the move happening at the end of the month and all. Suggestions are welcome! 🙂

Well, Since I’ve wasted enough of your precious moments, I will bid you all adieu.

Until next time kiddies….


Oh P.S.!!!! I saw a 3D movie for the first time since I got new glasses! Holy Shit…go see Dredd 3D…seriously! LMAO.

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Posted by on October 2, 2012 in Life, Reviews & Events, Weekend Adventures


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Everyone Is Wearing Just A Little Decay

This heat wave is a beast! Sheesh, I don’t know how many times I’ve whined about being hot in the last two days, but I’d probably be rich if I had a nickel for every time I did. My apartment has no temperature control at all, so I had to go and buy a box fan to stick in my window. It actually has helped more than I thought it would, thankfully. I can’t even wear makeup because the second I step away from the fan, it starts to melt off. It’s just absurd. Other than the heat though, I’ve had a great weekend so far.

Last night we went to our usual haunt, Villains Tavern, to have a few drinks and just hang out. We go there often because the decor is great, they have interesting musical acts, they rarely charge at the door, and they have the best drink deal (in my opinion). A beer and a shot for ten bucks. I usually like going there on Sundays or Wednesdays though because, like last night, it’s crowded on the weekends and there’s nowhere to sit.So anyway, while hanging out and having meaningful conversations about such topics as; how girls voices get annoying when they’re drunk, G decides he needs to go to the bathroom. We are both feeling slightly buzzed but not drunk yet (well, I wasn’t he was kinda drunk tee-hee). No sooner does he walk away from me, a guy waltzes up to me. I glance up from my phone for a half a second, mumble a “sorry”, then slide over because I’m thinking he wanted to get to the area behind me. Instead, he follows my steps and when I look up again he grins and says “hey, is that your guy?” (Inquiring about G). I stare blankly for a second, then I say…”why?”

This is probably how I looked when I said it…

His face looked a little shocked and then he put his head down and muttered; “oh, uh, nevermind”. Then he sort of hurried back to his friends. It was at that moment when I realized I am horribly unapproachable. Ha-ha, I should probably work on that!! I’m a social retard. Sorry sir. 😛

Today, I went to the promenade in Santa Monica for a little shopping. I finally got a few new articles of clothing and they all fit amazing…which shocked me to the core! I’m already planning a trip back out this week sometime because there were still a few things I wanted to get. I did purchase a fantastic piece today though…it was the prize of the bunch. My ‘treat” for myself 🙂 I Know, I know, I was just complaining about being hot and I decide to buy a jacket!? But I HAD to get it. First, because it’s Obey…I love Shepard Fairy’s art and am becomng a fan of his women’s line as of late. Secondly, I have to admit, it looked AMAZING when I tried it on. Nothing has ever screamed my style as much as this. I did have to argue with myself a bit over the price tag. But ultimately, I couldn’t live without it. So, C’mon fall I’m waiting!!! 🙂


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Posted by on August 12, 2012 in Weekend Adventures


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We Are Anti-Ignornance

Woah, this week has flown by! I have been a little trapped in my head the past few days and it seems like everything has passed in a blur. My mood has been a little weird. Full of contemplations and trying to figure a few situations out. I’m sure this entry will reflect that.

First, I wanted to share a very interesting insight I had this week thanks to being able to sit in on a meeting for a business a friend of mine owns. While hanging out, one of his business partners called to set up an impromptu meet up. Which, meant I was going to tag a long. What I expected from the meeting was the 3 of them going over plans and numbers…etc..etc. That’s not at all what happened and I left the meeting amazed at these 3 individuals. In short, what the meeting was called for was to basically take inventory about where each others lives were at that point, what was causing obstacles for them, and to give each other ideas as to how they might be able to go about fixing the situation. One guy would take a turn sharing what they felt was a block for them, the other 2 would listen, then offer opinions and ideas as to how that person could fix it or make it better. Now, the thing that amazed me was that they we not blindly just siding with each other and saying “oh yeah man, you’re right that shit sucks.” , like a bunch of yes men. They would take the situation apart and let each other know what THEY may or may not being doing that allows that situation to continue to affect them. This may seem like a simple act to many of you, but sit back and think for a second about how you react when someone offers you a criticism on a stressful situation in your life. Many people erupt because they feel like they are being blamed. I am one of those people. These guys however, took it in stride, let everything sink in, and took EVERY suggestion into consideration. I was blown away. I already had tremendous respect for these guys, but I can say that I respected them even more after that. I believe we can all learn from that, because when given honestly, constructive criticism only helps us grow. So, as as nod to them, please click on the pic below and check out DBR…especially if you are into fashion and music.

On another note, I’ve been trying to get back into the swing of things with art and music. Trying to sketch more and pen out some music/lyrics. It seems a lot more difficult than in the past though and I’m struggling. A lot of my inspiration seems to have evaporated and I can’t seem to concentrate on those projects long enough to create something of quality. I’m also feeling down about my ability in those areas and that makes me lack motivation. If I could just get the tiniest spark of an idea I know I can run with it. I also think my bleak view is because I don’t have all of the proper tools to do what I would like. Hopefully I can fix that soon. Drawing, writing and recording were my outlet for a lot of things and I can tell I’m sliding back into a negative mindset by not being able to do those things. I need to get a move on so this cloud can pass by me and I can stop being emo. Of course, those are not the only things hammering in my head that bring my mood down, but the others are not fit to post haha!

On the bright side, I experienced my first earthquake since moving out here!  It was an odd feeling and I didn’t know how to react. All I could do is look at my co-workers wide eyed and then, the only word I could think of to say was : “WOAH!”

Hahaha, not my brightest moment, but funny and exciting for me none the less.

Until next time!


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Posted by on August 9, 2012 in Life


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