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All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Good evening gentle blog readers. I hope this post finds all of you in a good mood of sorts.

Now, before I begin my rant, I just want to acknowledge that, yes, I know my title is a totally and completely played out quote. So what? It fits the blog subject so goddamn it I’m using it!

Haha, it’s still funny to me, shut up.

Today I was browsing Etsy, one of my very favorite websites to shop for interesting things, when I noticed a weird pattern that made me put the brakes on. A lot of the odds and ends sold there are related to very nerdy things that are somehow super popular these days. At first I was thinking, “well duh, this is an artist website, of course these people are going to be making things like this…they’re nerdy artists like yourself”. But then something occured to me… there are dozens, if not HUNDREDS of websites proudly proclaiming “geekdom” and selling nerd related memorabilia. Also, pseudo-nerd douche bags like Olivia Munn (that’s right bitch, you’re not foolin ME) have been all the rage for a while now. All the shit I used to get made fun of for, teased about and totally shit on because of, are now the COOL things to like. When the fuck did this happen?!

One day Munn and I will cross paths, then we’ll have a wild west style showdown to the death…

I distinctly remember that in middle school, the fact that I liked video games, zombies and manga/anime, was reason enough in those 7th & 8th graders eyes to fucking lynch me! But now those same little bastards that wouldn’t let me have a day of peace back then, are sporting Legend of Zelda t-shirts, Super Mario Bros ringtones, and ranting about the coming zombie apocalypse. And Highschool, ha, don’t get me started about high school. I was already singled out due to being the goth kid, but the fact that I liked things like comics (oh shit, the “C” word), cosplay, and Dragonball Z, were things I knew I had to keep on the hush-hush If I wanted people to maintain distance. The only people that accepted me for liking those things? The kids that hung out in the art room playing Magic the Gathering after school. Though I never played that game ( but only because I didn’t understand the rules and got frustrated with that “tapping” shit), it was nice to not have worry about all of the judging while I was down there.

“NO, you have to TAP your land! TAP IT, TAP IIIITTTTT!!!”

You may be thinking, “geeze Gazzy, maybe it’s a time now when people don’t have to be ashamed of what they like and they don’t have to hide it anymore. You should be glad to see it becoming so popular”. Well you know what I say to you if you’re thinking that?… FUCK you! It is NOT real nerd shit that is popular right now. It is a glammed up, beautified version. If you can’t see that, you deserve to choke on the bullshit the pretty “gamer” girls on G4 are feeding you. Type in “gamer girl” in the image search…how many photos do you have to go through before you find one that looks like she’s ACTUALLY playing the game and not staging the photo? Even harder, how many are of average attractiveness and fully clothed? Let me tell you something, I never have slipped on my cutest victoria secret underwear, put my makeup on perfectly and made sure my hair is just right, for a night of playing Bioshock. More than likely, I will have just stumbled out of bed or plopped down after a long day at work…looking totally disheveled.

More like this, only still probably not as cute

 

 

Surprisingly, this isn’t just a male fantasy for girls. When you search for nerdy guys, you come up with things like this:

Ok…NONE of my geeky guy friends look like that!! No insult intended to them, but they just don’t.

It’s goddamn ridiculous that people walk around giggling saying “nerds are hot” or “I’m totally a dork”. You know what, I wish I could grab them and shove their head in the toilet and rip up their anime doodles. Because this is what I had to go through when I even hinted at the fact that I spent my weekend watching Tenchi Muyo and beating Altered Beast for the hundredth time! So fuck you and your re-printed to look vintage Sonic the Hedgehog t-shirts. I wanna kick you until you cry over the Turbo Grafx you bought on ebay to look cool for your hipster friends.

And don’t think we original nerds can’t tell our own kind. When we are out at the conventions and you’re strutting around in the Sailor Moon outfit that cost you $500 dollars, we know you’re not one of us…oh, we know. But hey, to all my nerdy brethren out there that also went through hell for the things you were into, enjoy these moments!!! 🙂

 
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Posted by on August 23, 2012 in Life

 

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