Tag Archives: gazzy

The Earnestness of Your Creation

Well hello again bloggers and blog readers! Wow, it has certainly been a while hasn’t it? Happy late new year and all that jazz. I hope this message finds all of you well and still sticking to your resolutions (I definitely have NOT haha).

Something interesting happened to me while on the Metro yesterday and I wanted to share. It’s not a special event or anything, I am more than certain this happens to tons of people daily, but this was sheer insanity and it was very amusing. I got on the bus shortly after 4 when i got out of work. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for once I had forgotten my headphones at home, so I wasn’t listening to music. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or if that’s what helped me…but more on that later. Approximately 2 stops after I boarded, this guy gets on and sits next to me. I don’t even look up, because I was texting. A little way into the ride I hear him start to kind mumble under his breath like he’s very agitated. Saying he hates white people, and that how can a girl opt for a guy that won’t do shit for her just because he’s white and not wanna be with a “ghetto” guy that would do everything for her etc..etc. THEN, he continues to say that he’s gonna kill the formerly mentioned “whore” and her family and kids because she’s a racist bitch, all while making exaggerated grunts and sighs. Now, it is about this time when I finally look up from my phone and realize that this guy has actually been addressing ME this entire time. I was a little stunned when I realized this. All I said at first was, “what?!” . He said “you’re a fucking racist whore because you don’t like mexicans and only date white guys”. I admit I got a little offended and angry. I fired back with ” you don’t even know me. what’s wrong with you psycho, leave me alone”. He then says “oh what, you don’t think I know how to throw down? I just moved to south central from east LA and am the only mexican there (*personal side note, that’s a lie) and I have to fight of all the fucking *enter racial slur here* in order stay alive”. THEN he gets down on the floor of the bus to show me how he beats and stabs people. I’m admittedly a little freaked out by now because I am sitting in the in seat by the window, with nowhere to go…if he wants to stab me, he totally could. So I pull the cord so I can get off 2 stops ahead of where I usually do before he can sit back down. When I get off to look behind me, he is trying to get off too and is yelling after me! So I duck inside of Walgreens, walk down a few isles, and when I see he is out of sight, I dash out the door and down into the subway to catch my train. Whew. Seriously though guys, that was crazy. Good thing I didn’t have my headphones on or he might have followed me without me knowing! I for once actually felt threatened. I mean, come on, the guy was total lunatic! And besides, he was totally wrong, I’m not racist and I don’t only date white guys…I only date Asians 😉

Anyway, I have been trying really hard to stick to my resolutions, but am finding it quite difficult for a few of them Exercising and cutting back on junk food is the top of that list. I can’t do it! I feel like a junkie or something with the way I sneak snacks between my meals and lie to myself like it’s not that many calories or I’ll start again tomorrow, ha-ha! But really, I do need to figure out a way to stop overindulging. Advice from anyone out there will help 😉 Stupid diets. I have however, stuck to 2 very important resolutions. Seeking a healthier state of mind, and working toward the career I would like to have. I have also broken away from feeling like I NEED to be attached to someone, which is a very freeing feeling. I am setting up extension classes for the spring, and for my head, have starting seeing a doc. I am actually thrilled about that, as it is giving me new insight. So wish me luck on that everyone!! 🙂

Well, I know it’s late but, here is to 2013. I hope it brings you all everything you have hoped for and more! I end this with a quote from a musician I enjoy named William Control. This quote meant something totally different last year when I was in a dark place, but now seems a little more inspiring in its meaning to me and my new adventure (whether he intended it or not);

“I woke up in a city unfamiliar, I did so out of fear, on the ground lay my insides. I picked up the courage, determination and forgiveness from that pitiful bloody mess, to find myself and to discover the truth…..”




Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Life


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A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Hello again internet friends. It has been quite a while since my last post. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of crazy that had piled into my life over the last few weeks. Actually….I COULD, but then I’d just seem whiny and lets just not do that. I will say that these turn of events will definitely make it difficult to see the brighter side of things for a while. But anyway, moving on…

It’s October finally. The air will (hopefully) begin to cool down, Halloween is a few weeks away and, best of all, we’re one month away until elections end and I can finally go online without seeing some stupid comment or photo bashing one side of either political party. I absolutely HATE election year. No matter where you go you can’t escape the b.s. it seems. Even 7-11 has shit. While buying your cheap coffee, you can proudly pick the cup representing your candidate and act like you’re making a difference by doing so. Call me ignorant if you want, although I DO know the issues and who stands for what. I just hate that people treat this as a sporting event and act like trash talk is actually beneficial to the cause of either side. Especially this year. Everyone is so caught up on the hot gossip. “oh my gosh Romney said what?!”, “Obama forgot to address WHO in his speech?!”. Shut the fuck up. I Love you ‘Murica, but lately, you seem collectively stupid.


Speaking of Halloween, I went to a haunted house / maze thing this past Sunday. It is the first of many hopefully, so I want to review it for your convenience. A little back story first. The BFF and I wanted to get out of the house Sunday due to the fact that we usually just slum around and, since it has been a trying few weeks for us both, figured we could use some fun. We had very little money between us both but he found a deal on his phone for unlimited access to 3 mazes for $14 bucks a person. A steal right?!… I don’t know why we didn’t see this one coming. The attraction is called “Paranoia” and is located in the Santa Monica Place mall. I know that should have been a dead give away, but the video made it seem at least somewhat promising. Look!

Well, Let me just say, that I don’t know who set this up, but it looks like it was thrown together by some high school kids. The decorations in all of the mazes are sparse. And when there is something, it is very clearly foam and rubber. The scares come from a few kids dressed in somewhat themed attire according to which maze you’re in. In the “Infirmary” there are patients…kinda…until you somehow end up in a part of a maze that looks like a living room, where there is no one there at all. The “Insomniac Clown Playhouse”…haha, what a joke. I am usually terrified of clowns, but something about the clown at the entrance posing for photos and telling people to add him on Facebook really took the horror out of it. Once inside, there were a few creepy looking clown masks, but once again, the ambiance was ruined by rounding a corner to find the clowns dancing to hip hop. Nothing really scary about that to me for some reason.

NOT scary

I think the biggest scare I got was when we exited the first maze, and one of the security staff, a 60+ year old lady, screamed “boo” completely out of the blue.

Anyway, our next planned haunted attraction stop is Delusion and, if I can muster the courage, Blackout. Both seem terrifying and from the reviews I’ve read, extremely entertaining. We will probably throw a few odd ones in the mix too just to keep it interesting. We’ll see if we can afford it with the move happening at the end of the month and all. Suggestions are welcome! 🙂

Well, Since I’ve wasted enough of your precious moments, I will bid you all adieu.

Until next time kiddies….


Oh P.S.!!!! I saw a 3D movie for the first time since I got new glasses! Holy Shit…go see Dredd 3D…seriously! LMAO.

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Posted by on October 2, 2012 in Life, Reviews & Events, Weekend Adventures


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All Your Base Are Belong To Us

Good evening gentle blog readers. I hope this post finds all of you in a good mood of sorts.

Now, before I begin my rant, I just want to acknowledge that, yes, I know my title is a totally and completely played out quote. So what? It fits the blog subject so goddamn it I’m using it!

Haha, it’s still funny to me, shut up.

Today I was browsing Etsy, one of my very favorite websites to shop for interesting things, when I noticed a weird pattern that made me put the brakes on. A lot of the odds and ends sold there are related to very nerdy things that are somehow super popular these days. At first I was thinking, “well duh, this is an artist website, of course these people are going to be making things like this…they’re nerdy artists like yourself”. But then something occured to me… there are dozens, if not HUNDREDS of websites proudly proclaiming “geekdom” and selling nerd related memorabilia. Also, pseudo-nerd douche bags like Olivia Munn (that’s right bitch, you’re not foolin ME) have been all the rage for a while now. All the shit I used to get made fun of for, teased about and totally shit on because of, are now the COOL things to like. When the fuck did this happen?!

One day Munn and I will cross paths, then we’ll have a wild west style showdown to the death…

I distinctly remember that in middle school, the fact that I liked video games, zombies and manga/anime, was reason enough in those 7th & 8th graders eyes to fucking lynch me! But now those same little bastards that wouldn’t let me have a day of peace back then, are sporting Legend of Zelda t-shirts, Super Mario Bros ringtones, and ranting about the coming zombie apocalypse. And Highschool, ha, don’t get me started about high school. I was already singled out due to being the goth kid, but the fact that I liked things like comics (oh shit, the “C” word), cosplay, and Dragonball Z, were things I knew I had to keep on the hush-hush If I wanted people to maintain distance. The only people that accepted me for liking those things? The kids that hung out in the art room playing Magic the Gathering after school. Though I never played that game ( but only because I didn’t understand the rules and got frustrated with that “tapping” shit), it was nice to not have worry about all of the judging while I was down there.

“NO, you have to TAP your land! TAP IT, TAP IIIITTTTT!!!”

You may be thinking, “geeze Gazzy, maybe it’s a time now when people don’t have to be ashamed of what they like and they don’t have to hide it anymore. You should be glad to see it becoming so popular”. Well you know what I say to you if you’re thinking that?… FUCK you! It is NOT real nerd shit that is popular right now. It is a glammed up, beautified version. If you can’t see that, you deserve to choke on the bullshit the pretty “gamer” girls on G4 are feeding you. Type in “gamer girl” in the image search…how many photos do you have to go through before you find one that looks like she’s ACTUALLY playing the game and not staging the photo? Even harder, how many are of average attractiveness and fully clothed? Let me tell you something, I never have slipped on my cutest victoria secret underwear, put my makeup on perfectly and made sure my hair is just right, for a night of playing Bioshock. More than likely, I will have just stumbled out of bed or plopped down after a long day at work…looking totally disheveled.

More like this, only still probably not as cute



Surprisingly, this isn’t just a male fantasy for girls. When you search for nerdy guys, you come up with things like this:

Ok…NONE of my geeky guy friends look like that!! No insult intended to them, but they just don’t.

It’s goddamn ridiculous that people walk around giggling saying “nerds are hot” or “I’m totally a dork”. You know what, I wish I could grab them and shove their head in the toilet and rip up their anime doodles. Because this is what I had to go through when I even hinted at the fact that I spent my weekend watching Tenchi Muyo and beating Altered Beast for the hundredth time! So fuck you and your re-printed to look vintage Sonic the Hedgehog t-shirts. I wanna kick you until you cry over the Turbo Grafx you bought on ebay to look cool for your hipster friends.

And don’t think we original nerds can’t tell our own kind. When we are out at the conventions and you’re strutting around in the Sailor Moon outfit that cost you $500 dollars, we know you’re not one of us…oh, we know. But hey, to all my nerdy brethren out there that also went through hell for the things you were into, enjoy these moments!!! 🙂


Posted by on August 23, 2012 in Life


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Everyone Is Wearing Just A Little Decay

This heat wave is a beast! Sheesh, I don’t know how many times I’ve whined about being hot in the last two days, but I’d probably be rich if I had a nickel for every time I did. My apartment has no temperature control at all, so I had to go and buy a box fan to stick in my window. It actually has helped more than I thought it would, thankfully. I can’t even wear makeup because the second I step away from the fan, it starts to melt off. It’s just absurd. Other than the heat though, I’ve had a great weekend so far.

Last night we went to our usual haunt, Villains Tavern, to have a few drinks and just hang out. We go there often because the decor is great, they have interesting musical acts, they rarely charge at the door, and they have the best drink deal (in my opinion). A beer and a shot for ten bucks. I usually like going there on Sundays or Wednesdays though because, like last night, it’s crowded on the weekends and there’s nowhere to sit.So anyway, while hanging out and having meaningful conversations about such topics as; how girls voices get annoying when they’re drunk, G decides he needs to go to the bathroom. We are both feeling slightly buzzed but not drunk yet (well, I wasn’t he was kinda drunk tee-hee). No sooner does he walk away from me, a guy waltzes up to me. I glance up from my phone for a half a second, mumble a “sorry”, then slide over because I’m thinking he wanted to get to the area behind me. Instead, he follows my steps and when I look up again he grins and says “hey, is that your guy?” (Inquiring about G). I stare blankly for a second, then I say…”why?”

This is probably how I looked when I said it…

His face looked a little shocked and then he put his head down and muttered; “oh, uh, nevermind”. Then he sort of hurried back to his friends. It was at that moment when I realized I am horribly unapproachable. Ha-ha, I should probably work on that!! I’m a social retard. Sorry sir. 😛

Today, I went to the promenade in Santa Monica for a little shopping. I finally got a few new articles of clothing and they all fit amazing…which shocked me to the core! I’m already planning a trip back out this week sometime because there were still a few things I wanted to get. I did purchase a fantastic piece today though…it was the prize of the bunch. My ‘treat” for myself 🙂 I Know, I know, I was just complaining about being hot and I decide to buy a jacket!? But I HAD to get it. First, because it’s Obey…I love Shepard Fairy’s art and am becomng a fan of his women’s line as of late. Secondly, I have to admit, it looked AMAZING when I tried it on. Nothing has ever screamed my style as much as this. I did have to argue with myself a bit over the price tag. But ultimately, I couldn’t live without it. So, C’mon fall I’m waiting!!! 🙂


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Posted by on August 12, 2012 in Weekend Adventures


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What Happens Tonight, Will Haunt You Forever

Good evening everyone. I just arrived back home from a rehearsal session with a friend. I am laying a bass track down for an electronic music project he’s working on. On the way home we passed the Whisky A Go-Go and it made be begin to reminisce about how fun it was to play there with my old band, Valet Park This.

I remember the first time in particular because it was the first time I had ever stepped foot in Los Angeles. I remember the excitement I felt when we drove by and saw our name on the marquee. I couldn’t believe it. When I was trying to book shows for our small tour, my ex-best friend suggested the Whisky because most, if not all, of the bands we admire played that are one time or another. I never in a million years thought they would call us back to book. I was ECSTATIC when I got that phone call.

The show that night was amazing. I fully believe that, this was our best performance of all the shows we played ( a very close second is the show we played at The Gothic in Denver). I had always felt a connection with Los Angeles my entire life, but that is the night I truly fell in love with the city and knew I needed to live here. But that’s another story completely so back to the matter at hand…

The show at the Whisky was the second to last of our very turbulent tour. We went through a lot in that short time but in hindsight, it was the beginning of a huge gain of momentum. We started to gather a lot of attention both in the US and internationally (we were interview by a UK magazine shortly after). We were gaining experience, credibility and were writing better than ever after that. I remember we had a whole new vision. We began to go from a silly, kinda cutely metal girl band, to something more amazing and brutal. We got home with a renewed energy. We played there 3 times in just a few months. It was so inspiring.

Then we got home and shortly after, every thing collapsed. Petty in-fighting began to tear us apart at the height of everything and, once we lost Mckenna, we didn’t recover. VPT was gone right at the time when everyone was looking to us to make it. Before we broke up, we recorded 2 of the new songs we were going to add to the new album.

When I look back now, there are so many ways we could have over-come these childish differences and made a big mark. I miss playing and performing with these ladies immensely. We all were different and had our own style, but that only added to our unique sound and drew a varied crowd. Bunny (VO.) was the visually striking, trendy one, Kayla (Guitar) was the vegan hipster (and i mean that in the best possible way), Dthia (Drums) was the through-and-through metal chick, Mckenna (Keys) was the naturally pretty one, and I, Gazzy(Bass), was the horror punk of the group. We appealed to such a wide array, that if we concentrated on writing, getting better and put aside our pointless differences, we could have ruled the world (figuratively of course). I still drop hints to this day that we should put something together…like a reunion of some sort. Even if it’s for one show. Our time may have already passed, but who knows!

So Ladies I want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for some of my favorite memories. I love you all. And hey think about that reunion shit! lol.



Posted by on August 4, 2012 in Life


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With Sparkling Eyes…

It’s finally Friday! Blog therapy time. Nothing better than to go over this weeks events and laugh. First, my Job.

Let me explain a little about the people at my job. We are an extremely varied group of people. We all are VERY different from each other, but for the most part, we all get along. All of us that is, except the one we will call “Ms. Schrute”. You see, Ms. Schrute is not your average everyday nuisance that every company has…oh no. She goes out of her way to butt into conversation, break up ANY shred of fun, intervene where she’s not needed in order to brown nose, and most of all, blow every goddamn situation out of proportion. EVERY situation. The one example I am going to share with you is only the latest. Don’t worry, I’ll try to keep it short. Here we go, *ahem*… what some of you may not know, is our company deals with very wealthy, sometimes high profile (and high maintenance) customers. On this specific occasion, there was a mis-communication about a return that the customer wanted to make. So of course, being high maintenance, they write a very long-winded and exaggerated email about how, having misunderstood the email exchange between us, had to cancel a dinner party with family in order to “rush” back to UPS before they closed to pick something up that they were not supposed to pack. Thus, causing a blow out fight with their boyfriend. Now, any normal person reading the email would think, “gee, this person just wanted to vent about how upset they were” and write an apology. Done right? Nope. Not when Ms. Schrute decided to go snooping through emails. She panics and decides to inform our general manager. She, is at a different location and in now way needs to be bothered with something that can be this easily handled. She proceeds to tell her that the confusion “forced the customer to make an EMERGENCY trip back to UPS and caused them great distress” and insists we refund their shipping cost (like 40 bucks on a $400 dollar order). After she gets the reluctant go-ahead, we inform the customer of this amazing service we just did. You know what they said? “I appreciate the apology. Thank you.” * sigh….wow.

Moving along…I am trying to use this Pimsleur language program I got a week or so ago to learn to speak Korean. It’s not going so well. Holy SHIT, the pronunciation is killing me. I can’t get it for the life of me. When I try, I just sound like I’m a drunk asshole who’s sloppily trying to hit on a cute asian chick. Ugh, I need help.

Anyhooo, I was researching my dream vacation to Bali for lunch today, trying to squeeze out a drop of hope that I would be able to plan a trip sometime in the next year. It’s totally not going to happen, but as I was searching I came across these pictures of a resort in Maldives: 

I think I’ve changed my mind about Bali being my dream “exotic” destination. This is too amazing. I just need someone to go with now!




Posted by on August 3, 2012 in Friday Rants


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Red Eyed

This misadventure with my apartment is becoming a bit more than I can handle. Yeah, I was aware that the neighborhood I moved into wasn’t the greatest when I decided to rent the place, but this is just getting ridiculous. The building seems to be getting worse by the millisecond. And, to top it all off, I was rudely awoken at nearly 1am to someone trying to open my door! I sat up in bed because I heard the doorknob jiggling. I paused, half asleep for a minute before I realized what was happening. I jumped out of bed screaming “who the fuck is there, I’m calling the cops”. Then they were gone. I really couldn’t sleep much after that. I should probably invest in weaponry of some sort.

Something like this perhaps?

I only have 3 more months and I can finally move on up in the world with a better apartment. Thank goodness.

Speaking of moving on up, I am finally closer to being able to overhaul my wardrobe! This battle between Los Angeles and I has been a hard one, but she is finally relenting (a little) and I am able to start the road of restructuring myself. I feel like I’m a new me in the old me’s shell. Ahh, I can’t wait. I’ve been perusing a few websites to find the looks I want to get. There are so many varying styles it’s hard to decide. I saw this one today though, and LOVE it. Adorable.Whelp, back to work for the time being. Must deal with my company’s version of Dwight Schrute so, gotta put my game face on.


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Posted by on August 2, 2012 in Life



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