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“I always dreamed about ruling the world, but now that I’m getting older I’ll settle for Hollywood.”

I know it has been a very long time since I last blogged, so I hope you are all fantastic! Either way, here is my a Tuesday morning rant to get me back into the swing of things.

Over the last few months or so, I have realized (and accepted), that there is no such thing as getting to where you need to be, with honest hard work alone. If there ever was such a concept, it is long dead. Showing up everyday, minding your own business, and getting your job done right is not what it takes to get ahead in a career. You need to be ready to manipulate, side step,  out smart, and out maneuver. You have to be ready to step on toes, climb over others, and leave people behind. Even in the smallest and lowest position, you have to be vicious, conspiring, cold and calculating; ready to turn on people,  or rip out a throat (figuratively of course) at a moments notice if you think for even a second that it can give you the ability to continue your climb to the top.

This part right here...

This part right here…

 

Those who thrive and are prosperous to the point of being considered top of their game, are there because they beat others out of the running so badly, that they were no longer even considered competition.If you believe otherwise, I commend your hope; but you have blinders on my friend.

I used to believe in honesty. In the ideal that trustworthy, hardworking people are the ones who get the pay off. That people who lie, cheat, and steal to become a leader, will be exposed and will eventually come crashing down. Well…sorry, but that’s not how the world really works…that’s just wishful thinking. My eyes were opened to that quickly. I wish I was taught that earlier on, I probably would have succeeded much sooner. Sadly, I was too worried about hurting someone’s feelings, or making someone look bad. I didn’t want to feel guilty for stealing the spotlight, taking credit where it wasn’t due, or plotting to discredit someone.

A friend told me, that life is like a game of chess. He is 100% right. Every decision should be regarded as
a tactic in order to overtake your opponent and earn your checkmate. That is how I view everything now.

I used to believe that if someone was willing to do all of those unsavory things in order to get what they want, then they can have it. I wasn’t going to fight them for it, and I wasn’t going to stoop to their level.
Know what? That’s ultimately why I struggled so long. Not anymore my dear friends. No, no, not anymore. I’ve learned this world of bait-and switch, and the rules of deceit to progress. I have learned them exceptionally well.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do NOT carry this new belief into my personal life. I won’t steal from or manipulate a friend, and I won’t cheat on a significant other. There is a separation there, and that’s a line I won’t cross because I am loyal, loving, and devoted in that way. But with that said, you all need to comprehend where I stand and how seriously I take my career. That way there is no confusion later. So, a few words of caution:

1. Don’t work against me. If you want to work WITH me or FOR me..awesome. If you want to help me, great! But if I see you as a threat, or see you trying to jockey for position, I will take you out. I promise. Then, we probably won’t be friends anymore.

2. This goes for the friends and acquaintances of people I know as well. You have someone you are friends with who is in direct opposition to my ultimate goal, or has something I want to attain in a business sense? Sorry…I don’t care who they are. I will find a weakness, and exploit it without remorse in order to get what I need. No questions asked. The sooner you understand this, the better. If not, the moment it happens you’ll be upset, then we probably won’t be friends anymore.

3. I will act with tact, respect and come off as coy if needed or if I feel it will serve me well later, especially if that is what gets a person to expose a way in. Otherwise, I will more often than not, be a bitch and “bare my teeth” by being curt, blunt, dismissive, and sometimes arrogant and aggressive. Why? Because that’s how things work. Plus, I don’t have time to pretend if it won’t get me anything in the end. So if it embarrasses you or you don’t like it, keep your distance if it seems like I’m “doing business”…or we probably won’t be friends anymore.

4. If I am hanging out with you or have plans to hang with you, and I suddenly get a call or email that forces me to cut things short, cancel plans, or reschedule; or if I don’t (or forget to) return a call or an email/text…tough shit. For what I am trying to accomplish, I need to act at a moments notice. If I don’t, someone else will, and I can’t have that. So try not to whine about it or take it personally. Otherwise…well, you get the idea.

I am not trying to sound like I don’t care. I really do, and my personal friendships/relationships are important. I just felt like you all needed to be aware of a few of those very important changes in my personality because I received a bullshit remark about it the other day. Yes, I am willingly a Hollywood agent and fucking proud of it. I chose this path. It is what I have always wanted to do. You can call us sharks, vultures, scumbags, scavengers, or glorified used car salesman…go right ahead. If you think that bothers anyone who works in this profession, you’re dead wrong. We’re just gonna laugh…all the way to the bank. And nope, those words will not make us feel bad about ourselves or make us lose sleep. In fact, most of the time, those terms mean we are doing our jobs right, so fire away.

In conclusion, I’m doing what I need to for ME and no one else. My dream is my own, I am not trying to impress anyone with it. If it seems ugly to you, then look away. No one is forcing you to be a spectator, and you sure as fuck aren’t welcome as a commentator. If it seems sleazy, phony, and grimy, I won’t apologize for it. It’s the nature of the beast, so deal with it.

Above all, if I am in your presence and I say or do something while working that seems offensive to you… don’t take it personally baby, it’s just business 😉

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Posted by on May 28, 2013 in career, Life, Uncategorized

 

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The Earnestness of Your Creation

Well hello again bloggers and blog readers! Wow, it has certainly been a while hasn’t it? Happy late new year and all that jazz. I hope this message finds all of you well and still sticking to your resolutions (I definitely have NOT haha).

Something interesting happened to me while on the Metro yesterday and I wanted to share. It’s not a special event or anything, I am more than certain this happens to tons of people daily, but this was sheer insanity and it was very amusing. I got on the bus shortly after 4 when i got out of work. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for once I had forgotten my headphones at home, so I wasn’t listening to music. I’m not sure if that was a mistake or if that’s what helped me…but more on that later. Approximately 2 stops after I boarded, this guy gets on and sits next to me. I don’t even look up, because I was texting. A little way into the ride I hear him start to kind mumble under his breath like he’s very agitated. Saying he hates white people, and that how can a girl opt for a guy that won’t do shit for her just because he’s white and not wanna be with a “ghetto” guy that would do everything for her etc..etc. THEN, he continues to say that he’s gonna kill the formerly mentioned “whore” and her family and kids because she’s a racist bitch, all while making exaggerated grunts and sighs. Now, it is about this time when I finally look up from my phone and realize that this guy has actually been addressing ME this entire time. I was a little stunned when I realized this. All I said at first was, “what?!” . He said “you’re a fucking racist whore because you don’t like mexicans and only date white guys”. I admit I got a little offended and angry. I fired back with ” you don’t even know me. what’s wrong with you psycho, leave me alone”. He then says “oh what, you don’t think I know how to throw down? I just moved to south central from east LA and am the only mexican there (*personal side note, that’s a lie) and I have to fight of all the fucking *enter racial slur here* in order stay alive”. THEN he gets down on the floor of the bus to show me how he beats and stabs people. I’m admittedly a little freaked out by now because I am sitting in the in seat by the window, with nowhere to go…if he wants to stab me, he totally could. So I pull the cord so I can get off 2 stops ahead of where I usually do before he can sit back down. When I get off to look behind me, he is trying to get off too and is yelling after me! So I duck inside of Walgreens, walk down a few isles, and when I see he is out of sight, I dash out the door and down into the subway to catch my train. Whew. Seriously though guys, that was crazy. Good thing I didn’t have my headphones on or he might have followed me without me knowing! I for once actually felt threatened. I mean, come on, the guy was total lunatic! And besides, he was totally wrong, I’m not racist and I don’t only date white guys…I only date Asians 😉

Anyway, I have been trying really hard to stick to my resolutions, but am finding it quite difficult for a few of them Exercising and cutting back on junk food is the top of that list. I can’t do it! I feel like a junkie or something with the way I sneak snacks between my meals and lie to myself like it’s not that many calories or I’ll start again tomorrow, ha-ha! But really, I do need to figure out a way to stop overindulging. Advice from anyone out there will help 😉 Stupid diets. I have however, stuck to 2 very important resolutions. Seeking a healthier state of mind, and working toward the career I would like to have. I have also broken away from feeling like I NEED to be attached to someone, which is a very freeing feeling. I am setting up extension classes for the spring, and for my head, have starting seeing a doc. I am actually thrilled about that, as it is giving me new insight. So wish me luck on that everyone!! 🙂

Well, I know it’s late but, here is to 2013. I hope it brings you all everything you have hoped for and more! I end this with a quote from a musician I enjoy named William Control. This quote meant something totally different last year when I was in a dark place, but now seems a little more inspiring in its meaning to me and my new adventure (whether he intended it or not);

“I woke up in a city unfamiliar, I did so out of fear, on the ground lay my insides. I picked up the courage, determination and forgiveness from that pitiful bloody mess, to find myself and to discover the truth…..”

Love,

Gazzy

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Life

 

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